OH no de Tornado…

tor

I

Tanned like an alligator and then carried onto
another elevator and flown to an outpost and
remembered like a snip of newspaper.

We pray and then fail, rise and then shake,
grin and then reappear in a mirror next to the
mistake we made last year…

Who does not remember the dark room, come
here and tell me you don’t – that you’ve been
OK since the last day you felt all right.

II

Swim mind and climb arm and enjoy soul and
smile heart and spin eye and sound mouth
and feel hand and dance body, now or never…

III

The semblance and coherence of your ideas
could gain credence, but how, when the king
dines on and chews the legs of creation?

Better the night air, and the magnolia petal
and your own ruminations – who will you be
in the morning when the king is still sleeping?

You are at your best as your best and already
who you will be in a thousand years, why wait
for the tornadoes to turn you over and over?

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7 responses to “OH no de Tornado…

  1. Hi Poetman, I mailed you (your yahoo a/c) but I thought I better swing by to thank you personally. You were so kind and so good to stand up and be counted like that…….I respect that very much. Annoyingly I missed the insults earlier as I was speedreading, but have just commented on them now. I hope you don’t think me a horrible ingrate, I had said it was okay to crit, so my hands were tied. It is not okay, however, to use words like bitch or bastard……..and I hope that gets through loud and clear.

    Big hugs from me to you.

    Oh and this piece is very good, great rhyme scheme which means good movement. I love the tornado image too……

  2. I really like this, but I enjoyed the second part the best because the words sort of fit with the image of a swirling, out of control tornado. Hope you’re well.
    kim

  3. Kinda claimed this poem while reading it. I felt almost like it was talkin’ to me.

    U
    rock
    2,
    differently

  4. “We pray and then fail, rise and then shake,
    grin and then reappear in a mirror next to the
    mistake we made last year …”

    Stunning! I loved the imagery of the entire poem, but those lines actually made me gasp and wish I had written them! :o) I hope it is okay that I’m adding you to my blogroll!

  5. Great use of the tornado “turn you over and over?”…

  6. johemmant – Hello, I did get your email…Thank You…As an aside I do not encourage critiques of my writing although well thought out criticisms, or even when someone points out spelling error is helpful…Also I like it it when someone disagrees with the premise of one of my poems or one of my Daily Thoughts, but that feels different then attacking the writing itself…Be Well…

    krkbaker – Thanks for pointing that out…It did not occur to me that that section was related to the tornado itself, but now that you point it out it seems obvious…Peace

    amuirin – Thank you…

    beth – Thank you for your gasp…your true reaction, as a writer you know how important those are when they come from a reader who has your depth and talent…I am very impressed with your writing and of course adding me to your blogrolll will be much appreciated by me…I will soon add you to my blogroll not as reciprocation but out of admiration…

    thepoetryman – Thank you…

  7. Yes, it is difficult to know what to do with critiquing……if it is helpful I am all for it but a complete annihilation is just taking the matter too far. But don’t teenagers always go too far. But thanks again, you’re a star.

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