wanted…a get out of jail card…

out of jail

I have been working too hard at this – like 3 to 5 hours a day too hard at this…oooooo I want to make this perfect…and if I do not “they” will not love me. I wish I could write that I am angry or disappointed and yes I am both of these things, but I can deal with either of these. The hard thing to deal with is that I feel like I am emptying myself a little bit everyday.

I want to be liked and loved and respected and yeah yeah so on and so forth, I want to be seen and who gives a rats fuck about another poet ranting and roiling on an almost anonymous wordpress blog.

Here is what I like about blogging – its discipline. I love it. I cherish it. I will write everyday because of it. I want to speak to the world…shout into its corners “I am somebody worthy of your attention.” But the sound that comes back from the world is not loud enough for me…and the acclaim I have received has not been received or heard by the bitter part of my heart.

So one of my motives, OK, my secret motive aside from acquiring the discipline to write daily for writing this blog was to find a community of poets who I felt were my peers – ie poets who wrote in a similar style to mine. I have not found them and I feel a bit bereft as a result of this.

Before I started writing this blog I was so superior minded about my poetry that I felt I was matchless as a poet and that is a wall that I am grateful has now come down – I know that I am not matchless as a poet now – I have come to find out that I am just different, not better or worse, just different (I learned that here, so thank you).

So here is my question to you who read this, can you direct me to any poet or literary journal that seems to share my sensibilities of poetry, or who writes or publishes poetry such as mine…?

Its getting kind of lonely in this jail…please send a hacksaw in a cake, or the above card; either will do…

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18 responses to “wanted…a get out of jail card…

  1. I don’t have an answer for you. Frankly, the qualities that make you unique are the very essence of why I visit here… I’ve never thought that you’d be interested in ‘joining’. But, I understand your desire to be respected. If this includes the need for a community, so be it. I know one poet who is part of a ‘blogsboro’ community in Greensboro, South Carolina. With your permission, I’ll forward your URL to him, and perhaps he can give you some ideas. I wish you well.

  2. Bob are you working on getting another blog award from me? 🙂 …of course permission granted…next question for you will my uniqueness keep me in jail…? Oh and one more question, if it will, can I borrow some money to post bail?

    Poetman

  3. By the way its more about voice than about community, though community is welcome…sometimes I think I am singing by myself – into a Mayan wind…

  4. This was a smart post, mister.

    When you feel misplaced, seek replacement.

    I think i know of some places you’d be fond of .. give me a few and i’ll pull them from my recollections. It’s important to be among like-minded fellows. i’ll get back to you on this one. promise.

    in the meantime, don’t despair. they are there. among you.

  5. Well, this was not one of your listed goals but you teach me a lot about what poetry is. I come here both to enjoy but also to learn. So though I’m not the sort of poet-peer you seek, perhaps I’m another kind of blog relationship with another human that you didn’t expect and just found. I have to tell you that for all the writing I do, I feel incredibly lonely, too. My life overflows with people in every aspect, but I don’t expect to ever find a “community” that fills that gap for me. For me, personally, “community” is overrated.

  6. renaissanceguy

    I like your poetry very much. I’m not sure where you can find others like you. I don’t know of any. (Well, I have compared your work to some dead poets, so if you want to do a bit f channeling. . . .) I haven’t been commenting lately, but I’m reading.

  7. Poor you. Not enough acclaim. hahaha, I imagine that will be permanent regardless of eventual worldwide acknowledgement in the history books forever as one of the finest poets to ever grace the language with his careful attention. Enough? There are poets all over the place, there are none like you just as there are none like me, that means we are good writers, originals, alone, as it has been for gifted geniuses like us all through the ages. It is a burden you must learn to bear. Enough yet? The PaulS plan for successful blogging, Have fun, everythingelse is bullshit and a pointless waste of time, have fun, it works, oh and if you are to express your high opinion of your own work make sure with do it with a healthy dose of irony,
    have I missed the point again? oh well, (ps I’ll write you some nice comments if you write some for me, hahahahahahahah, pointless bullshit I tells ya, have fun,

  8. Dame – Thanks…Its not replacement of what I have here (whatever that is …) it is to enhance what I have here (whatever that is …) with poets who write with big flourishes of metaphor – who take time to edit…Poets who share the idea that it is possible to write poetry that describes the time they live in while paying attention to the vagaries of history…(I’ll probably get in trouble for that, but Oh well)

    You have been one of my inspirations as I have written before, and I hope that you find your way here or where ever you find yourself…Thank You…Oh and get back to me as well… 🙂

  9. TIV – Thanks for the comment – I appreciate the people who come here – I love to read their comments(favorable or otherwise) and I am not looking for everyone who comes here to write like me or to be a so called peer…that would be more than pompous.

    It is entirely alright that you and others are “another kind of blog relationship” its all good…

    In my life, with friends who I hang with, with my Partner (my angel) I do not have a so called peer relationship when it comes to poetry…In other words it is not a requirement to be in a relationship with me…My grown daughter barely reads my poetry and I love her dearly…and so on.

    What I am getting at is – what I am trying to find is a community or group of writers who use language like me…

    And as for community being over rated…I see your point and I raise you the speculation of “what if it wasn’t ”

    Peace TIV and be well…

  10. RG – Maybe that is what I have been doing, channeling dead poets…Oh boy I hope not…of course I have always loved you comparing me to some of the greats – I mean what writer wouldn’t love that…and thank you…for your secret reading…and it is always OK to do that…

  11. Gingatao – You are such a trickster – your reply is wonderful and mirthful even if it misses some of the points I was trying to make in order for you to make the point which you so playfully make…aspects of which you are dead on accurate about…it’s not only the acclaim or the recognition “thingy” – its that on the Savannah I want to recognize other animals who look something like me…

    Rage on Paul cuz thats what you’ll do anyhow…

  12. poseidonsmuse

    You know you’re a great poet. You just like basking in a soft, feature-enhancing spotlight (as we all do). Unlike those people (some writers who love basking in the spotlight for Narcissistic reasons), you actually deserve to bask in a soft glow because your poetry has a delicate architecture that is best highlighted intimately…carefully…lovingly. Ever since starting this blog, you have truly honed and honoured your craft with dignity.

    I LOVE your poetry. LOVE. I lurk as an underground groupie because I don’t want to be an obvious flirt. Having said this, I am an artist, not a poet and although I will never amount to the quality of poet you so describe (for your style has a very balanced left and right brain quality), I am still honoured to rub shoulders with you regardless.

    This leads me to my next bit. As an artist, I gave a piece of *my* creative soul to you in the form of that avatar (in recognition of your writing)…and now, as a final parting gift, I really want you to sneak a steal of that Buddha avatar that I’ve created recently (if you’d like). Even if you’re an atheist, and you couldn’t give a wit about Buddha’s golden schnozz, I want you to have it. I thought of you when I made it. If you think it’s junk, then huck it…or otherwise toss it in a file somewhere…but take it nonetheless.

    Poetic and literary Regards…

  13. What I like about blogging is that I can write when I want, not everyday. I do share your awakening as to the amount of talent that writes poems. Amazing work out there in blogworld.

  14. If I come across someone I’ll let you know but I’d be kind of sad if I did….don’t you like being unique….?

  15. Forgive me, but this post is a lot self pitying crap. I like your blog, but I got to call it as I see it. You seek other like minded poets who write in a style similar to your own, right? What a tragedy it would be if you found out you were the only one you knew. I know what you are going through, too. I have been there a hundred times myself. You are feeling discouraged. But you know what? You probably won’t ever be famous or “established” (I mean, it’s possible you could be. You do have talent). Charles Bukowski said it this way: “Style is a difference: a way of doing, a way of being done. To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call Art.”
    IMHO-you need to create art that you love. I hope we are still friends.

  16. poseidonsmuse – Your reply took my breath away – and I did save the Buddha, thank you very much…and I am sorry to read on your blog that you are moving on…and I do so hope that it is to greener fields of mirth humor and pleasure…be well…

    Brian – for me it was quite an awakening…thaks for coming…

    Jo – I do like being unique…I am not wanting to find anyone who does exactly what I do…oh no no no…that would be frightening…Its more like a style compatibility thing…

    paulie11 – It is kind of interesting that you missed the point entirely…I wonder what let you know to do that…

  17. you make me think and, more importanty, wonder and sometimes just be

  18. Trinifar – I wish I could do that too – just be I mean…maybe I should read more of what I write… 🙂

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