My Personal List of Poetry Assholes.


  1. People who write Haiku and claim to have worked hard at it.
  2. Slam poets who don’t know how to wrestle.
  3. Neo beat poets who smell nice and are well fed.
  4. Confessional poets who have nothing interesting to confess.
  5. Lovers who think that Romantic poetry is about their torrid love affairs.
  6. Concrete poets who have never tended a mixer or built a building.
  7. Any one who thinks Shakespeare was a genius.
  8. Writers who think the written word shouts louder than the spoken.
  9. Spoken word poets who don’t know how to write but do know how to shout.
  10. Poets who think poetry sucks and then write a blog about it..
  11. Journal writers who want to publish the travails of their lives as poetry.
  12. All poetry judges.
  13. Professors of creative writing programs who don’t themselves write.
  14. Poets who give negative feedback in poetry workshops, for your own good.
  15. Average people who say “I use to write poetry”.
  16. Republicans who claim to have a creative side while voting against the arts.
  17. Any one who thinks Keats and Byron are still relevant today.
  18. Poetry academics that turn up their nose at anything written after 1900.
  19. Free verse poets who don’t know how to write a couplet that rhymes.
  20. Ignoramuses who believe that alliteration is an arcane science.




5 responses to “My Personal List of Poetry Assholes.

  1. BRAVO!!! You took the desired words out of my reluctantly closed mouth. Thanks.

  2. cotton mouth

    21. people who make poetry lists

  3. …as well as those with so very little to say…

  4. I must say I largely agree with your list. Especially regarding #’s 1, 5 and 19.

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